Healing begins when the self is known
About Me
I was born and raised in Vancouver, BC. I started my healing practice as a hypnotherapist and energy healer in 2014. Realizing that working with one modality was too unfulfilling so I allowed myself to branch out naturally. I refer my current practice as ‘formless and ever-changing like the phases of the moon’. I am an intuitive guide using a combination of ayurveda, palmistry, herbology, plant medicine, songs/prayers, meditation, yoga, taoism, and buddhism to help others and myself attain balance. After countless awakenings, I am now much more of a sculptor than a healer, and my highest joy is tuning the human organism. My continuing studies and love for harmony brings an endless array of wisdom to everyone.
I am spiritually-driven and don't believe in coincidences for everything happens for a reason. I am interested in many things that relate to spiritual growth and healing. As a spiritual being, I let my intuition and senses guide me. I attempt to view the whole picture and not the symptoms. My life's purpose is to awaken mankind, raise our vibrations and to help those in need of balancing. Mankind has much more power and potential than what most people suggest; it is time we reclaim our lost sovereignty. I see a great future for all of us where there is abundance of positive/alternative energy and a society that accepts differences. I love to connect with those who are on a similar path but I also would like to work with those who are different than me. There is so much we can learn from one another. There are countless ways to heal someone or something, we can explore the methods together. If you require help, I am here to serve you.
My interests are endless. My virtues are imperceptible. My path is the intersection of all paths. I am my doctor. I am my healer. I am my poet. I am my creator. I am unity and infinity. I am and you are too. We are.
There is no one in the world that is not healable.
(In)curable means that a person has to go with(in).
Grounding in Physicality
Childhood
Growing up, I knew that I was different. But how different? That I did not know until my late teens and early twenties. However, it was a great privilege to have a few autistic classmates while I was in elementary school. We were always told to behave and hold our composure when the autistic children would make loud noises or disrupt the classrooms. As an energetic and witty child, the one to disrupt classrooms would be me sometimes. One day, a thought occurred to me which triggered my philosophical mind. The thought was, "what if I was an autistic child myself and the others are just keeping their straight faces around me?". That thought made me uneasy and I spent much time gazing deeply into the mirror and at the young age of around 10 or 11, I asked myself "who and what am I?" Of course, no answers were given and I just continued on with my daily life while building something very necessary to function in the society: a personality.
Teens
My early teens until late teens were quite a vulnerable time. The personality was already set in motion. Bernie was the funny, weird, artistic, aggressive, mysterious, caring and daring teenager. Reflecting back, it was a crazy roller coaster ride with scattered emotions and misguided directions. Anything could have happened during those years but luckily, nothing major happened and I gradually matured into a young adult.
Adulthood
Due to my creative and rebellious nature, I never once thought about walking the same path as everyone else. I knew that I was unique but to what degree? I knew that I was a freethinker and I always threw people off with my responses. I enjoyed art, music, dancing, comedy and creativity as I aimed to be a fashion designer eventually. I thought that fashion design would allow my creativity to run rampant and be a true rebel. My first year in University was as a design student. The program broadened my perspective in life itself. It offered various methods in tackling modern day struggles. However, the workload, the countless critiquing, the theories and most of all, the inability to connect with classmates made me lose interest with design altogether; I wanted to change majors. I didn't give up right away as I hired a seamstress/tailor to teach me more advanced sewing techniques to prepare myself for the fashion design program. However, my fiery creativity was already burning out due to the many restrictions from the design program and I wanted out, immediately.
Adulthood take #2
I left the design program the following year without much regret and decided to either major in Philosophy or Psychology. I was a deep thinker at heart and what better way than to expand my thinking? I became normal again because anything design or art related, you are automatically in the weird category. After taking a few semesters of Psychology and Philosophy, I chose to major in Psychology. As electives, I picked up two more languages along the path: Mandarin and Japanese. I took Japanese classes in high school but Mandarin was completely new to me. Anyway, Psychology was rather interesting as it was applicable knowledge and nothing to do with theories nor too much emphasis on mathematical calculations. Now studying these courses was a breeze and I thought that I was a free man finally. All I had to do was finish assignments, do projects, study for exams and move on. Rinse and repeat until graduation.
Adulthood #3
When I was in my 2nd year, I saw a poster in my campus which advertised exchange programs. I was quite interested with visiting Japan as I've never been and wanted to experience the culture. I was already listening to Japanese music, watching Japanese shows, cooking Japanese dishes and immersing myself with the culture back home but wanted the real deal. At that time, I continued with my Mandarin and Japanese courses simultaneously. Although, I was a born bilingual but could you imagine jamming 2 additional languages into one's brain while still continuing on with normal studies? That was me and luckily I'm still sane today. Well, sorta and kind of. Okay, maybe not.
I had the required GPA since I kept up with my studies so I eventually applied to the exchange program and was offered my first pick of Nagoya Gakuin University. I chose Nagoya because it was in the middle between Tokyo and Osaka; they were 2 cities that I wanted to visit. Upon the second day of our arrival, the foreign students had to do a Japanese Efficiency Test to assess our skills. To my dismay and despite my confidence in Japanese, I fell asleep halfway through the exam due to jetlag and fatigue. I was therefore placed in one of the beginner classes with no options to take electives with ordinary Japanese students as they require higher Japanese Proficiency.
Everything worked out in my favor though. Because I was placed in one of the beginner classes, I aced all of my exams and knew all the material. I bet the professors were wondering why I was placed into the lower class but that's okay, they don't need to know. The homework and studying was really easy and felt more like a review instead. I spent lots of my free time at the school's gym, meditating at nearby gardens/shrines and most of all, preparing for next semester's Proficiency Test.
When Spring came around, I did surprisingly well in the Proficiency Test with no excuses of jetlag. I jumped from a beginners class to an intermediate class; I was also then able to take courses in Japanese such as Linguistic and Sociology.
I spent approximately a year in Japan from 2010-2011. Yes, I was also there for the 3-11 earthquake, tsunami and radiation scare. My city was completely unscathed though. Many events happened during that year. I taught English occasionally in Elementary Schools, Middle Schools and High Schools. One of the teachers chose me because they thought that I had a good grasp on both English and Japanese. As a bonus, I appeared Japanese so the students were more likely to open up to me. Along with that, I worked as an English tutor at the University's campus. Contrary to the academic life and what not, I was not quite as zen-like as I am now. I partied, went to clubs and socialized a lot. It was a quite a fun time living abroad, immersing oneself in another culture and I felt like an independent adult to some degree.
Adulthood: The Awakening
When I came back to Vancouver, those around me noticed that I changed. My mom always asked me, "what happened in Japan?" or "why are you so different now?". To be honest, it wasn't Japan that changed me. I could have been anywhere to be changed. It could have been Mexico, China, Europe, Russia, Korea, Taiwan or anywhere else. I believe it was the responsibility and independence which triggered me to take control of my own life. I was allowed to choose finally. In my spare time, I was drawn in by Buddhism, channeling materials, philosophy, meditation techniques, super foods, conspiracy theories, UFOS, aliens, star children, paranormal experiences and anything that the ordinary human being would not find exhilarating. It was also the gift of living alone and being able to find silence which enabled a deeper state of contemplation. Silence and darkness were very useful tools for the awakening mind. In solitude and silence, I obtained vast amount of knowledge. I knew that I was getting closer to knowing and meeting myself.
Ascending into the Ethers
The Triggers, Catalysts and Paranormal Experiences
Neaar Death Experience #1
I was fortunate or rather unfortunate to have a near-death-experience(NDE) that not many have had or would like to have. I was nearly drowned to death at the age of 7 at a water amusement park. I was knocked out of my donut tube while gliding down the slides and spent the entire time underneath the water swallowing large amount of liquids. That time I could feel my consciousness or "myself" leaving the physical body and a whole life review appeared in a stream of light. It showed me the sorrow of my family along with a voice or guidance that said "it is not time yet". I was wrapped around a sphere of loving warm light during the time of the NDE. During that hellish water slide, I was apparently pulled back up to my donut tube by an older gentlemen. However, when that ended, I knew something extraordinary had happened: a sneak preview of the other side was offered.
Neaar Death Experience #2
Paranormal Experience #1
I knocked on heaven's door again when I was 18 years old. It was the night before my flight to Hong Kong. It was on Canada Day as I recall and to summarize, I was heavily intoxicated at a party with lots of alcohol and other recreational drugs. I went home like a zombie around 6-7am, and as I was laying on bed, my mouth started foaming up. My heart suddenly stopped and my body became icy cold. I could feel my consciousness leaving the body like the time when I was 7; I was barely in my body and was slipping away as the seconds went by. The life review kicked in and I was shown my whole life in a stream of light again which included the good and the bad. At that moment, I became the judge of my life and I was shown the sorrow of my family if I were to leave too soon. After the life review, a telepathic message entered my head. It clearly only gave me 2 choices: die and go back to source or live and spread the light. The message or voice was very adamant and firm as there was absolutely no room for negotiation. Within a matter of seconds, I intuitively chose to live. I wanted to love. I wanted to spread the light. I was so grateful that the light chose me. That was what I've been yearning for all along. That was the missing link.
The moment that I made the conscious choice to live, I was wrapped around by the same light that appeared when I was 7. Instantly, I felt love, acceptance and warmth spread over my entire body; I knew that I was being hugged by the creator itself. The warmth resurrected my cold body and my pulsation gradually returned to my heart. It gave me 100% assurance that divine intervention exists and that I was part of something greater. I was bawling in tears as I rolled down to my floor to bow down to the Infinite Creator. I wasn't religious but knew that was the most appropriate thing to do at that time.
Ever since that life-changing experience, I became careful with whom I associated with. I eventually distanced myself from the party crowd and only hung out with close friends. I never betrayed my intuition again from that day forward.
Ever since that life-changing experience, I noticed the psychic attacks happened less frequently as you continue to read about my paranormal experiences.
When I was around 12 years old, I had the most frightening experience ever. I was about to go to sleep when this immense pressure hit me. My eyes were opened but body completely paralyzed. I tried to scream but nothing came out of my vocal chords. I felt something ominous approaching me as if it were out to destroy or possess me. It felt like my mind, body and soul was completely being violated. Luckily, I was able to break the spell that first time by moving my toes and fingers around. When I came out, I was drenched in sweat due to panic.
Paranormal Experiences Continued
When I found out what that first experience was, it made me become very wary and even afraid of the dark. It was called Sleep Paralysis in English and bei guai za/guayachuang(ghost sitting on bed) in Chinese. No concrete explanation has been found up to date other than classifying it as something paranormal and extraordinary. There were often times when I felt the ominous presence approaching and I always immediately retreated to my parent's room. The experiences didn't cease completely until my late teens. I've had up to 20 Sleep Paralysis experiences up to date. They occurred most frequently during times of stress, anxiety, sleep deprivation, emotional unbalance, mental unbalance, and physical illnesses. Sometimes they would also occur unpredictably. Sometimes when the experience occurs, voices would be heard, heavy sensations upon the body, broader range of colors are seen, shadows morphing in and out, and the feeling of death itself. Almost all of the experiences weren't pleasant.
Seeking Remedies
My seeking into the other worlds began around the age 13 or 14. I started reading about Wicca and Astrology mainly. I guess the themes during those times were protection and guidance. I had no sense of protection and I wasn't mentally stable. My parents and sibling were ordinary people so I wasn't able to consult with them about supernatural events. Prior to all these paranormal experiences, I had psychic vision as a child but closed them before hitting my teens due to lack of practice and support. However, everything happens for a reason and what's lost will eventually be found again.
Around the age of 16 till perhaps 22, I always wore silver and I also had protective stones like the Amethyst and Jade near my bed. It was for my protection mainly. Whether it be my bracelets, rings, necklaces, pendants and earrings, it will always be silver. I never took it off and not even while sleeping/showering. According to Wicca, silver was a symbol of purity and negates negativity. It seemed to lessen the amount of the paranormal experiences to some degree and offered me peace. It was during that time that I began my ritualistic meditation before bedtime as well. Clearing the mind before sleep was a must in order to not have any frightening experiences.
Enter the Indigo?
When I was 16 or so, my mom brought me to her meditation circle since she knew that I was interested in the new age movement. Obviously, I was the youngest one there since meditation was not popular at all back then. I connected with the older ladies and thought that these loving souls "get it". We would then occasionally go to some spiritual conferences, events and watch documentaries together. The other ladies believed that I was a star child or more specifically, an indigo or crystal child. At that time, I didn't know what or who I am so I did not seek further.
Most star children choose to be born in disharmonious families with many challenges so that was a really good hint that I may be one.
Separation
My parents told us that they were going to divorce when I was 16. However, my mom consulted with me many times prior to that and I always encouraged it. I remember saying something like if a relationship is not harmonious, then why bother? There was too much friction between my parents and I can see now that age is merely a number which does not signify maturity. It was more of a surprise to my dad than to me since I saw it coming. I did not shed a single tear and was not emotionally torn; fortunately, my parents decided to wait until my high school graduation before they parted ways. Along the way, my dad prepared me for the real world. He taught me how to do chores, do the laundry, cook, clean, made me think about my future and just basic life skills. I was really thankful for that. I was quite independent by the time I was 18 and my brother would count on me occasionally.
My dad moved out by himself while I stayed with my mom and brother during those years. Eventually, I took over the role of my father who moved out and became the family man. I cooked, cleaned, repaired, gardened, and did many other things that my dad used to do previously. I was a grown up and I acted as a grown up.
Becoming Plant-based & Air-based
The divorce itself was truly a blessing in disguise. In a way, it was my ticket to freedom. I was finally allowed to choose what kind of foods to ingest as long as I cook it on my own. My brother and dad are heavy carnivores so you can frequently expect red meat on the dinner table. I avoided the red meats often and preferred the fish, vegetables, tofu or poultry. I would only occasionally eat red meat when my dad told me just to show my appreciation and respect for his cooking. He would use his biased logic on me saying that I need to eat my protein and diversify my diet.
I did not enjoy red meats. It messed my sensitive digestive systems up. It gave me lots skin eruptions and discomfort. It may have been the catalyst to my psychic attacks(I know it did).
Upon reading about health and cooking on my own, I noticed a general trend eventually; I stopped consuming red meat by the time I was 21. From 21 until 23, I sometimes ate seafood/poultry when I was outside with friends and family; I would always justify that I'm not a vegetarian since I'm ingesting some fish and chicken occasionally. It always felt like I had to defend myself and unwillingly agree with their biased views that vegetarians lack protein. I was scared of being ostracized due to my beliefs and special diet. During those 3 years, I still consumed poultry and seafood but realized that my body/mind/soul preferred a vegetarian/vegan diet.
When I was 24 and after many spiritual and mystical experiences, I was called to purify myself completely without further delay. I dedicated my life to healing and a compassionate way of living. I was ready to be a full time vegetarian. I never considered myself to be unhealthy but I knew that I wasn't 100% healthy. 90% healthy is only a passing grade in my books. Therefore, I also went on prolonged water fasts (24-72hours) on every full moon/new moon to further cleanse any impurities lodged in my system. During those times, will power and discipline was my fuel so I was neither a vegetarian nor a meat eater; I had to cultivate air/chi/prana/energy and put my meditation techniques to the test. Fasting really caused great concern for my mom because she had the idea that when one stops eating, one dies. To reassure her that I was fine, I continued my daily life of working, yoga, meditation, gardening, reading and occasionally hiking too while fasting. So her concern gradually diminished and replaced by amazement, she finally left me alone. I did that for over 2 years and now follow an intermittent fasting regime of 7hours eating window/17 hours fasting daily. This regime helps me to stay grounded in society while still having a purified vehicle.
A plant-based and heart-based diet is giving me so much energy that I will never ever consider going back to consuming meat again. All my vehicles of mind/body/spirit are now in a balanced state and I can only continue leading by example.
Along the path of healing and health, I became it.
The Grand Awakening
I was a procrastinator. I used to be afflicted with a terrible disease that plagues the rest of humanity called laziness. However, that is a curable disease.
By the time I was 23, I've already read a handful of spiritual books and grasped deep spiritual knowledge. Still, I was attracted to channeling, star children, ascended masters, Buddhism, Taoism, philosophy, ascension, alternative healing, pyramids, ancient civilizations, UFO and so forth.
I was still on and off with my yoga, meditation and spiritual practices prior to 2014 but always wanted to remove my final mental limiters. I knew how to but it was matter of "When?"
I decided to not delay my awakening any further and on January 1st, 2014, I decided to go full vegetarian, do yoga everyday, do strenuous exercise everyday, do meditation everyday, do prolonged fasting twice a month, cease destructive acts, remove attachments and most of all, live consciously. I did not have to retreat to the mountains as I did all of this while still functioning as a city dweller.
Of course, the social life had to be put on hold since it involved drinking and gossip.
I kept all of my promises to myself for that entire year and somewhere along the way, I noticed a shift in my meditation sessions. I was able to reach a state of bliss under an hour of meditating. It required me to reach a state of emptiness and receptivity through relaxed and control breathing. Images would occasionally show up in my mind, sometimes voices or flashes of guidance would be received. While other times, a pool of energy would just surround me, it was then that I realized, my upper chakras or energy centers were beginning to blossom. I learned to connect with the sea of energy and want to continue sharing the presence which is the greatest present.
On October 2014, I participated in two Ayahuasca ceremonies which gave me more clarity and guidance. It was like a final exam for myself and I did not purge at all; it was such a heavenly experience with lots of affirmations. I kept a meditative state during both of my ceremonies and received so much guidance to confirm my important mission in this current time frame: to uplift humanity.
Around mid-December 2014, it was the holiday seasons with little work so I decided I would spend my holidays meditating. After a 3 day water fast, I woke up one morning, sat beside the heater, wrapped myself in blankets and meditated for the whole day. I remember my brother went out that afternoon and when he came back in the evening, it surprised him that I was still meditating. When he came home, he probably didn't notice that I had a gentle smirk on my face similar to Mona Lisa. My brother came back home from the gym while I just came back home from my inner travels. During my inner seeking, I was satisfied with the outcome. I was able to transcend my own humanly limitations mentally as I merged the upper with the lower, the conscious with the subconscious, the inner with the outer and the masculine with the feminine.
The "I" was finally put back in its rightful seat while the "we" came forward.
We became us from that enlightening experience.
The Divine Present
I often get asked, "What do you do?" and I'm usually stumped at first by such a broad question because I don't just do one thing. Matter of fact, there is less "doing" and more "being" in my life's path. My modality is now formless and shapeless without any limitations. I continue to grow, learn and expand myself on a daily basis. I'm more of an artist that loves to tweak and improve my work using my own body as a medium. All mediums are different so we'll use a different style for each unique personality and character.
In healing or teaching, I also use the same approach. It will depend on who I am working with. The level of understanding and the depth of a character will show what kind of approach and at what intensity we need to tune to.
Thanks for reading. I am present. Are you?
